Communication

Pointing the finger in relationships. This came to me this morning when I came back from my walk with my new dog this morning. We are figuring out each other, or more precisely, I am figuring out myself in the container of my relationship with her. Old patterns always show up for me in new situations, and this relationship is no different. Even though the patterns show up less intensely but they are the same ones. This time around, they were so much subtler that I had to really step back and calm down to listen so I could hear them. 

I know relationships are about mastering oneself, not about the other completing us. I was getting frustrated with my dog on the walk because she kept pulling and wouldn’t slow down, then a thought came to me: focus on yourself, go back to your breathing. I stopped and I breathed. My dog immediately switched, stayed and followed me instead of pulling. 

My intention in sharing this is to say I could have pointed the finger at my dog, and go, it is her problem, she should have figured out what I was asking for. You might be thinking to yourself, she is not going to figure it out with you telling her what you want. She is a dog. You are right. Here is my question: why would you say it is ok for a dog not to figure it out, but we all, at some point, expect another human to figure out what we want, without figuring it out ourselves first, then communicating it properly without any emotions. Is pointing at someone or something outside of you your default?

Loves.

Queenie